I am a proud member of Generation X, and I think I can speak for all of us when I say Whitney Houston was a prominent voice for our generation ever since the release of her eponymous album in 1985.
I was a few months shy of my 14th birthday when I heard that album, and every song on it was a hit.
You couldn’t attend a graduation in the early ’80s without hearing a class full of children or teenagers singing “Greatest Love of All.” You couldn’t escape her on the radio — not that we wanted to.
Once she came on the scene, she commanded it. She was the gold standard, and everyone who came after was compared to her. She was the voice and the visuals, baby.
Today, Aug. 9, would have been her 60th birthday, and in honor of the occasion, I want to list my favorite Whitney Houston songs.
In honor of Whitney Houston’s 60th birthday, here are my favorite Whitney songs
Links
Black People Have Been Having A Time With The ‘Fade In The Water’
LinkAt the end of it all, multiple people were arrested — including the white men who started it in the first place after they were identified by people in the crowd watching,
Since it was all caught on video, hopefully they won’t escape accountability for their actions.
Because that’s really what all of this boils down to, and that’s what’s really driving the pure joy Black people are experiencing in this moment — accountability.
You see, accountability is like kryptonite to whiteness. Whiteness is quick to deflect when it’s in the wrong, but that same whiteness will demand accountability for Black people at every stop. It’s a weird type of cognitive dissonance none of us have been able to figure out yet.
As Black people, we have to defend our humanity on a daily basis in America. Whiteness is a privilege that is wielded over us heavily on a daily basis in all parts of our lives. Black people can’t eat, sleep, walk down the street, go to the pool, play in the park with their children, or do relatively anything without their words and actions being policed by white people.
And because of whiteness, there are white people who believe they don’t owe any respect to Black people in positions of authority.
Witnessing a group of white people get their comeuppance for disrespecting and physically attacking a Black man who was simply doing his job is the smallest and sweetest of victories, and baby? We will take it.
Black People Have Been Having A Time With The ‘Fade In The Water’
And we’re back!
LinkI was in the ER for hours, and I do mean hours. They ran all types of tests on me and my eyes, and they determined that I had a detached retina. The ophthalmologist who was on call for the ER that evening didn’t think it was a real emergency, and he told them to send me to his office 25 miles away the next day. This annoyed me, and the physician’s assistant in the ER told me he didn’t think it would be a big deal for me to just call the ophthalmologist on the following Monday (which was Juneteenth) and let them know what happened at the ER. He told me to tell them I would need to be seen right away.
And we’re back!
Are you there, menopause? It’s me, Monique.
LinkBefore you all start jumping in my mentions on Twitter, sending me emails, or leaving comments on my personal website with your completely unsolicited advice (in another post, I will explain why y’all need to stop doing that under all circumstances), please know that I have been to the doctor plenty of times to address my period woes.
As a teen, I was placed on birth control pills to regulate my periods. I don’t have fibroids. I just have a very angry uterus that tries to take me down each month.
These days, my periods last four to five days. I bleed heavily, and I clot a lot. The cramps are uncomfortable — especially the dreaded “butt cramp” that I haven’t bothered Googling to find out what it is about, but I know other women experience it because we’ve exchanged stories on Twitter.
I just had a birthday last week, and I can honestly say, I’m ready for my period to go the way of the Dodo.
Being fatigued, cranky, sick to my stomach, crampy, and overall uncomfortable for five days every month is a drag, and I’m completely over it.
In the same way I was wishing for my period to start, I am now wishing for menopause to start so I can be done with this shit.
Are you there, menopause? It’s me, Monique.
Let’s argue: Which fast-food chicken chain has the best fried chicken?
LinkThat man legit rated Popeyes a 7/10 while saying KFC was an 8/10, and I know from personal experience that that is a big ass lie, but I’m not here to yuck anyone else’s yum. We all have different tastes in fried chicken, and we all like our fried chicken in different ways.
As an example, I am a Los Angeles native who currently lives in Los Angeles, and I have eaten fried chicken all over my city. I know people love to come here and go to Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles because that’s all people from out of town talk about.
Honestly, Roscoe’s chicken ain’t all that. I am not saying their chicken isn’t good; it definitely is, but the way people be raving about it would have you think there was magic in it, and I can honestly say the deli in the Albertson’s on Crenshaw and 39th seasons its fried chicken way better than that, and it’s a lot cheaper.
Let’s argue: Which fast-food chicken chain has the best fried chicken?
The Carlee Russell situation will not stop me from believing Black women
LinkIf anything, we should be happy that a missing Black woman got the level of national attention that Carlee did, and we should be advocating for that to happen every time a Black woman or girl is missing. Black women and girls do not get the same level of publicity or attention that missing white girls and women do. This is a fact.
According to the National Crime Information Center, 268,884 women went missing in the year 2020, and of those, more than 90,000 were Black women and girls. This means that while Black women represent less than 15% of the entire U.S. population, they made up more than one-third of the women and girls reported missing. And cases involving Black girls and women, on average, stay open four times longer than other cases. Unfortunately, we don’t hear their stories because they don’t get told.
The Carlee Russell story isn’t going to make people stop believing Black women, and it isn’t going to make them stop looking for us. The simple fact is they already don’t believe us, and they already don’t look for us.
The Carlee Russell situation will not stop me from believing Black women
Carlee Russell doesn’t owe us anything
LinkHere is where I inform you that Carlee Russell doesn’t owe anyone anything. She doesn’t have to talk about what happened to the public. The only questions she needs to answer are those from law enforcement investigators working on her case. That’s it, and that’s all.
The internet and social media specifically have put us in a space where people expect instant gratification at every turn.
A woman disappears on Thursday night, returns to her family safely on Saturday night, and by Tuesday, everyone is demanding that the police investigation be wrapped up and a full public disclosure be made about what happened in these last four days.
Except this is not an episode of “Law & Order: SUV.” This is someone’s real life.
Did you pray for her safe return because you actually wanted her to return safely, or did you post your “prayers” to social media for the likes and clout?
Do you actually care about the safety and well-being of Black women, or is Black suffering more your kink?
Carlee Russell doesn’t owe us anything
Keke Palmer and other Black women deserve to express both their sensuality and sexuality unapologetically
LinkDarius Jackson, a no-name negro with no claim to fame other than the fact that he fathered a beautiful child with Keke Palmer, recently became the main character on Black Twitter after he dared to try and publicly shame Keke for an outfit she wore to the Usher residency in Las Vegas.
In a video that was widely shared across the internet, the “Confessions” crooner walked up to Keke and serenaded her. They danced closely together as he sang to her. Keke, who shows no signs of having recently had a baby, looked stunning in a dazzling Black see-through number that put her “cheeks” on full display.
Darius, aka the “breadloser” in Keke’s house, wrapped himself up in a feelings burrito after the video clip of Usher and Keke went viral. In response to a celebrity news social media account posting the video, he wrote through his tears, “It’s the outfit tho…you a mom.”
Keke Palmer and other Black women deserve to express both their sensuality and sexuality unapologetically
Ricky Williams is advocating for mental health in ‘Soul Training’
LinkIn Black and brown communities, there’s a very good reason not to trust mental health practitioners and professionals in the same way that there’s a good reason not to trust the system, so I think we have to start there and acknowledge that most systems have not been for Black and brown people. So if the help is being offered by the same hand that just bit you, you would be foolish to give them your hand and trust them to heal the wound they created.
You want someone who can journey with you into your inner world and be trustworthy enough not to weaponize it against you or use it against you. You want someone who is cultured enough to understand your experience to never project their ideas of the world onto you and allow you to have your own ideas that are rooted in your culture and who you are and the communities you grew up in.
Being vulnerable is a luxury. I’m reminded when I go into environments where survival is life and death on a daily basis that vulnerability is not necessarily a thing that’s going to help you survive; it’s actually a thing that might get you hurt or might get you killed. So when it comes to Black and brown communities, they have been put in a position in society where they constantly have to survive, and this luxury of vulnerability isn’t available to them.
Ricky Williams is advocating for mental health in ‘Soul Training’
a hot link sandwich #4
LinkWhen I tell y’all I was completely humbled and flattered by that, please believe me. Ever since Michael and I started working together in 2017, I have been one of his biggest fans. His writing is brilliant. He is a gifted storyteller and a knowledgeable historian.
I really want to be like him when I grow up, and him liking something I wrote is worth bragging about, so there you have it.
a hot link sandwich #4
My favorite drug dealer TV shows, ranked
LinkNow, I realize that my favorites are not everyone else’s favorites, and I realize that I have not watched all the same shows as everyone else, so this is why I say this is my ranking. It’s not definitive by any means; it is just a listing of the ones I like. Your opinion will likely differ, and that’s fine. Go write about it somewhere else because another thing about me? I’m not finna argue with y’all about nothing.
Oh, one other thing before I get this list started. All of these shows are personal favorites. A show being last on the list doesn’t mean it is a bad show; it wouldn’t be on this list if I didn’t like it and recommend it for viewing. It just means that when compared to my other favorite shows, this is where it is on the list.
Let’s begin.
My favorite drug dealer TV shows, ranked
Here’s what Sarah Jane Comrie could do to fix the Citi Bike situation, but she won’t
LinkWe are upset because Sarah Jane Comrie chose to react in a way that was too over the top for the type of dispute that was happening at that moment.
The boy’s side of the story has now come out, and we’ve learned that she initially asked three of the boys in the video if she could take their bikes, and after being told “no” by all three, she proceeded to try and commandeer the bike of the boy we see resisting her in the video.
His side of the story makes her look so much worse. She comes off as entitled at the very least, but the history of white women weaponizing their whiteness and tears in the name of causing trouble for Black people is what has people — Black people in particular — on edge.
Here’s what Sarah Jane Comrie could do to fix the Citi Bike situation, but she won’t
Mother Of Teen In Citi Bike Video Speaks Out: ‘No One Bothered To Ask Him What Happened’
Link“This situation is really driving me crazy and making me sick,” Betty said. “We have never been in this situation before.”
“We came to this country to make a better life for our kids,” she continued. “We are not thieves. Just because we are poor doesn’t mean we are thieves.”
Betty said Michael had to stay home from school for a few days because of the mental anguish of the incident and all that has come after it.
“As a mother, you don’t want to see your child like that,” she said.
Betty said she was horrified when she first saw the video.
“My reaction when I saw it was ‘oh my God. I almost lost my son in that moment.’ Do you understand me? I am not from here, but we all know this country,” she said. “But how the policemen here do our sons, and our husbands, and our fathers. They kill us.”
Mother Of Teen In Citi Bike Video Speaks Out: ‘No One Bothered To Ask Him What Happened’
Accountability is like kryptonite to whiteness
LinkThe racist mob has tried to make the narrative be about everything but Sarah Jane Comrie’s behavior in the video — even though it’s her behavior that everyone is upset about.
There is a reason for this.
Accountability is like kryptonite to whiteness. Whiteness does not like being held accountable. Whiteness doesn’t like seeing white people being held accountable.
Accountability is like kryptonite to whiteness
The ‘receipts’ don’t matter. The bike doesn’t matter. Sarah Jane Comrie’s actions matter
LinkHer lawyer’s statements in the media are meant to obfuscate the actual issue at hand. He is making it about whether or not she tried to steal a bike and whether or not she actually paid for said bike, but even he has to know on some level that’s not the real issue.
Judging by his statements in defense of her, the employment lawyer representing Sarah Jane Comrie understands that her very loud and public outburst where she weaponizes her tears and begins screaming for help even when she was in no imminent danger is the issue.
People who saw that video understood exactly what Sarah Jane Comrie was doing. It was evident in the smug look you see on her face right before she began screaming for help.
Attorney Justin Marino knows that even Sarah Jane Comrie’s employer, NYC Health + Hospitals called her behavior in the video “disturbing.”
The ‘receipts’ don’t matter. The bike doesn’t matter. Sarah Jane Comrie’s actions matter
Let’s talk about the 50 Cent Cinematic Universe
LinkIf “Raising Kanan” accomplishes anything, it makes teenage Kanan (Mekai Curtis) something of a sympathetic character. You can see how the things that happened to him in his youth, especially when it comes to dealing with his mother Raq (Patina Miller). The main men in his life, his uncles Lou (Malcolm Mays) and Marvin (London Brown) are drug dealers and major players in Raq’s drug empire, and they are his main influences. Then he gets the added rub of finding out his real father is a cop (Omar Epps). Life is hard for young Kanan Stark.
That said, I’m not sure how all of that leads to him being the homicidal maniac he is in the original series, but I’m sure we’ll find out. The show has already completed two seasons, and a third should be released this summer.
The 50 Cent Cinematic Universe has me in a chokehold
Sarah Jane Comrie used her whiteness to try and steal a Citi Bike
LinkContinue readingSarah Jane Comrie knew exactly what she was doing when she began yelling. She wanted to draw the wrong type of attention to those young men so she could force them to give her what she wanted — the motorized bike.
She understands that as a white woman, she is always going to be viewed as the victim in any situation. She knows that white comfort is always prioritized over everything else. She is aware that if she makes a loud enough scene, some white man or a cop will come flying in to “rescue” her.
It’s what she wanted.
Sarah Jane Comrie is a 2023 version of Carolyn Bryant.
Bryant, who died two weeks ago on April 25, should have been tried in Emmett Till’s murder, but she never was. She died of old age — a luxury she denied Emmett Till.
Emmett Till was murdered because of her lie.
Sarah Jane Comrie Is A 2023 Version Of Carolyn Bryant
My favorite piece of chicken is the thigh
LinkYou heard me. The chicken thigh is the best piece of chicken in the entire bunch. Whenever I go somewhere and get chicken — whether it’s Popeyes, Church’s or Roscoe’s — I always ask for all thighs. Don’t bother giving me any other pieces, because I am definitely going to complain and send them back.
The definitive ranking of chicken pieces in order from best to worst
Let’s talk about the way Black women are constantly targeted for ‘humbling’
LinkBefore the whining starts, I want to be clear that I realize all women are shamed for the tiniest of things that shouldn’t even matter or be anyone else’s business, but as Black women, we are held under a microscope and have every decision, emotion, hairstyle, financial status, education level, number of previous lovers — you name it, we have had it picked apart and thrown in our faces at any given moment.
Black women get shamed for everything
Y’all started it
LinkBefore I get started, let me be clear about one thing: All white people have white privilege.
Whenever white privilege comes up as a topic, there are always white people who want to claim they don’t have it because they are poor or uneducated or whatever excuse they come up with to try and distance themselves from the very thing that gives them a leg up no matter their class or circumstance.
White privilege is an inherent gift that all white people benefit from just by virtue of being white. You can put a poor white person in the same space as a poor Black person, and the white person is going to be viewed as somehow better no matter their station.
White privilege is about opportunity.
Being the smartest, most educated and experienced person applying doesn’t guarantee a Black person will get a job, but a mediocre white person can get a job over them because of white privilege.
White people made everything about race
My latest for theGrio discusses the social construct of race, whiteness, white privilege and white supremacy.
White fragility *is* white violence
Link“I consider my writing to be a form of activism. It is my way of using my voice, my natural writing ability, and my words to speak up for myself and other Black people.
It is a form of protest, in my opinion, and baby, protest is not supposed to make you feel comfortable.
If you, as a white person, feel personally attacked by the things I say and write, that requires a level of self analysis that I can’t help you with. It’s not up to me to smooth it over for you and make it easier for you to digest.”
The frustrations of a Black woman who writes about race
recognizing when you are not the problem
LinkI don’t think this person truly knows why they do what they do nor why they chose to act this way to me. I certainly can’t explain it, nor do I feel the need to.
What I do know is that they are not a good person, no matter how much they try to pretend they are. There is no integrity to be had when your intentions come from a selfish and self-serving place.
I was open. I was honest. I did more than post platitudes on social media and act as if they were a reflection of my lived experience.
I am my lived experience each and every day, and I always own it — the good, the bad, and the ugly.
it’s not you; it’s them
Stop giving Chris Brown a platform, Black women!
LinkSince the 2009 incident in which he assaulted his then-girlfriend Rihanna — an incident to which he pleaded guilty and received a felony conviction — Brown has remained an unapologetic jerk on all fronts. Last month, People magazine published a timeline of all his legal troubles since the 2009 conviction, and the list is long and full of examples of Brown being unable to control his temper and keep his hands to himself.
The 33-year-old is obviously very troubled and would likely benefit from long-term professional help, but what is not helping is all the people enabling him — most especially Black women.
Chris Brown is problematic, and it’s time for Black women to stop uplifting him
I’m back on my bullshit
LinkI had a fabulous Valentine’s Day.
There are days when I know I look fucking good, and this was one of those days. Thighs out, ass-length braids, fishnet stockings, over-the-knee boots—baby, I was serving.
I saw a show with the burlesque troupe Sweet Spot Nation. They put on an adult variety show, and I was thoroughly entertained. There was a singing guitarist, erotic spoken word, some sensuous sex play (with clothing on, of course)0, and girls shaking titties and ass. There were also two comedy performances, and those were funny too.
If you ever get the opportunity to see them live, I highly recommend it.
Continue readingI am an extroverted introvert
LinkI spent years thinking that I was an extrovert. It’s hilarious to think of that now, when I haven’t made plans in over two weeks, and I get most excited by ticking another book off my To-Read List. But I used to think I was an extrovert, so I acted like one.
I suppose I can’t really blame people for mistaking me for an extrovert, as I fell into the same trap. But then I discovered my introverted roots, or rather I finally admitted it to myself. I am a total introvert at heart, someone who will always prefer reading in bed to going out, and who has to plan days between social events to regain my energy.
But I’m an introvert who can enjoy a house party. I’m an introvert with many extroverted friends. I’m an introvert in disguise, also known as an extroverted introvert.
8 Signs That You’re An Extroverted Introvert
I felt this article in my soul, because it describes me perfectly. My therapist helped me to realize this is me a few years ago, and now I rest in this identity. It’s comfy here. Have a seat.
One day I woke up and realized I am the prize
LinkOnce my focus was taken off turning myself into “wife material,” I was able to devote that energy to improving and evolving me for me. Regular talks with my therapist, a lot of self-critique-turned-into-active improvements and consistently listening to myself helped me to improve my relationship with myself as well as others around me.
My life changed for the better once I decentered romance
For theGrio, I discuss how my life changed once I de-centered romance.
White people: Please don’t do this
LinkThe one part of Halloween that I don’t enjoy, however, is the predictable parade of white people doing inappropriate things and wearing inappropriate costumes. It seems like no matter how much we call them out for it and explain why it is inappropriate, they keep doing it anyway, year after year.
A list of 5 things I am begging white people not to do this Halloween season
What we not gon do is let Sarah Silverman attack Holly Robinson Peete
LinkThe other issue is the way Silverman came at Peete. Nowhere in Silverman’s timeline is there a tweet showing her directly addressing anyone else about their presumed silence on the issue of Kanye’s anti-semitic statements. Yet she felt totally emboldened to go after a Black woman.
Sarah Silverman went after Holly Robinson Peete on Twitter, and it’s not OK
Black Twitter really is the shit
LinkLet me just pause right here to say that Black people bring the spice everywhere we go. We add that little bit of razzle dazzle that is needed to level up any type of event or gathering.
Black Twitter makes everything better
What’s wrong with taking Black Girl Magic everywhere we go?
LinkContinue readingThe Cardinal Divas are a majorette dance squad similar in nature to those mostly seen on the campuses of our nation’s HBCUs. Part spirit squad, part dance troupe, and always killing the game, these dance squads do something known as “j-setting,” a style of dance popularized by the squad at Jackson State University. Unlike white majorettes, Black majorettes do away with the traditional batons in favor of high kicks and mind-blowing choreography that can be done sitting in the stands as well as on the field.
Why are so many Black people bothered by the new Black majorette squad at USC?