I am an extroverted introvert

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I spent years thinking that I was an extrovert. It’s hilarious to think of that now, when I haven’t made plans in over two weeks, and I get most excited by ticking another book off my To-Read List. But I used to think I was an extrovert, so I acted like one.

I suppose I can’t really blame people for mistaking me for an extrovert, as I fell into the same trap. But then I discovered my introverted roots, or rather I finally admitted it to myself. I am a total introvert at heart, someone who will always prefer reading in bed to going out, and who has to plan days between social events to regain my energy.

But I’m an introvert who can enjoy a house party. I’m an introvert with many extroverted friends. I’m an introvert in disguise, also known as an extroverted introvert.

8 Signs That You’re An Extroverted Introvert

I felt this article in my soul, because it describes me perfectly. My therapist helped me to realize this is me a few years ago, and now I rest in this identity. It’s comfy here. Have a seat.

One day I woke up and realized I am the prize

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Once my focus was taken off turning myself into “wife material,” I was able to devote that energy to improving and evolving me for me. Regular talks with my therapist, a lot of self-critique-turned-into-active improvements and consistently listening to myself helped me to improve my relationship with myself as well as others around me. 

My life changed for the better once I decentered romance

For theGrio, I discuss how my life changed once I de-centered romance.

White people: Please don’t do this

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The one part of Halloween that I don’t enjoy, however, is the predictable parade of white people doing inappropriate things and wearing inappropriate costumes. It seems like no matter how much we call them out for it and explain why it is inappropriate, they keep doing it anyway, year after year. 

A list of 5 things I am begging white people not to do this Halloween season

What we not gon do is let Sarah Silverman attack Holly Robinson Peete

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The other issue is the way Silverman came at Peete. Nowhere in Silverman’s timeline is there a tweet showing her directly addressing anyone else about their presumed silence on the issue of Kanye’s anti-semitic statements. Yet she felt totally emboldened to go after a Black woman. 

Sarah Silverman went after Holly Robinson Peete on Twitter, and it’s not OK

What’s wrong with taking Black Girl Magic everywhere we go?

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The Cardinal Divas are a majorette dance squad similar in nature to those mostly seen on the campuses of our nation’s HBCUs. Part spirit squad, part dance troupe, and always killing the game, these dance squads do something known as “j-setting,” a style of dance popularized by the squad at Jackson State University. Unlike white majorettes, Black majorettes do away with the traditional batons in favor of high kicks and mind-blowing choreography that can be done sitting in the stands as well as on the field.

Why are so many Black people bothered by the new Black majorette squad at USC? 
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‘Woke,’ ‘quiet quitting,’ and other word games the right plays

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You see, those on the right have been engaged in a game of wordplay that has them redefining words and phrases to fit their various propaganda campaigns. Three very loud examples that come to mind are the word “woke” and the phrases “critical race theory” and “quiet quitting.” Stick with me and I’ll explain to you what I mean. 

Word games and propaganda campaigns: The right is weaponizing language against us

When white institutions uphold white supremacy

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As a Black woman, Anya was supposed to keep her thoughts to herself. This is how white supremacy works. You are supposed to endure the abuse and keep silent about it. Even raising the issue makes you a bigger problem than the issue itself. Remember selective offense

Carnegie Mellon’s response to Professor Uju Anya’s tweet is an example of how institutions uphold white supremacy

Why are Black characters in fantasy stories such a controversial thing for white people?

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It really bothers (some) white people that Black people get cast in their favorite make-believe stories. Maybe we are infringing on their ability to make believe that we don’t exist. Whatever the case may be, it’s seriously time to get over it, like Whoopi said

When you can imagine dragons but not imagine Black people in fantasy stories, your racism is showing

Serena Williams is the greatest athlete of all time

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Have you ever watched Serena on the court? It is almost as if she has a choreographer who plots out her moves for her. She is aware of the ball and her body at all times. She moves around the court with a speed and gracefulness that almost makes it look easy. Almost. 

There are no qualifiers needed. Serena Williams is the greatest athlete of all time, and here are a few reasons why

Selective offense strikes again, this time with Chris Rock

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Comedian Chris Rock, who was infamously slapped by Will Smith while on stage at this year’s Oscars, recently made a very tasteless joke about Nicole Brown Simpson, who was murdered in 1994 along with her friend, Ron Goldman. 

The responses to Chris Rock’s tasteless joke about Nicole Brown Simpson vs. Jada say a lot about how America views Black women

The PWI vs HBCU debate is old and tired and needs to stop

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We live in a world where facts matter, and there are simple facts that could help people understand why a Black student may not choose to go to an HBCU—and they have absolutely nothing to do with wanting to be white.

Yes, David Banner, HBCUs are a treasure but not always an option for a lot of Black students

Amazon’s ‘A League of Their Own’ Tells Black stories loudly and proudly

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Although the new show is also a fictionalized retelling of the World War II-era All-American Girls Professional Baseball League (AAGPBL), that’s where the similarities to the original ends.

‘A League of Their Own’ is based on the 1992 movie, but has an identity all its own

Terrell Owens is the latest Black man to experience a white woman’s weaponized tears

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Who was the first white woman to lie on a Black man? Who was the first white woman to use her tears to try and get a Black man in trouble, or worse—killed? Who was the first white woman who realized if she put out her best crocodile tears, it could gain her the results she was looking for?

Terrell Owens finds out the hard way that white women have perfected weaponizing their tears against Black men

Conversations about racism should not be getting stuck on ‘not all white people’

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Anyway, the other subset of people were white people who generally agreed with what I said about Bodega Bro, but they were given pause because in my headline I said “Bodega Bro is the epitome of everything white people do wrong on a daily basis.” They all got stuck on the “white people” part, and they all wanted to lecture me about how I shouldn’t lump everyone together in one category. 

Selective offense and ‘not all white people’: We shouldn’t have to keep coddling y’all 

Why is Josh Hawley always being a goofy?

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At this point, he should have realized he was in over his head, but you know white people, they gonna keep pushing it. He didn’t even really have anything “good” to say back, so he just stammered, “Uh, so, uh your view is that the core of this right then is about what?”

Josh Hawley messed around and found out, or how to ‘professionally’ read someone who is playing in your face

Black people with guns is scary business, apparently

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Except as we all know, people’s attitudes about who should and shouldn’t be able to bear arms and carry them in public tend to shift greatly when it comes to Black people owning guns. And we all know this is due to the implicit bias buried deep in this country’s DNA that causes white people to view Black people as some sort of ongoing threat. 

Why is open carry only an issue when it comes to Black folks? 

Some of our favorite songs have some really wild lyrics

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Because of my close relationship with music, I have had the opportunity to repeatedly listen to songs and analyze their lyrical content. I have to say, what passed for good music back in the day would really get the side-eye today—not because the music is bad, but because at times the subject matter or the lyrics raise some eyebrows and questions.

So-called ‘romantic’ songs with very questionable lyrics

When will the truth about Uvalde come out?

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This is the problem when outlets simply report what the police are saying and use that as the narrative. The police don’t always get it right, and as stated earlier, sometimes they flat out lie. The narrative from law enforcement in Texas has shifted so many times, it’s almost as if they are making it up as they go along. 

What Really Happened in Uvalde?

This summer’s anthem is…

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Listen. If Kandi doesn’t do anything else, she is going to give you a catchy bop to sing along to. After all, this is the woman who penned “No Scrubs,” “Bills, Bills, Bills,” “Tardy for the Party,” “The Ring Didn’t Mean a Thing,” and who has writing credits on “Bug a Boo,” “There You Go,” and “U and Dat.” She knows her way around a hit.

‘Legs and hips and bawdeeeeee’: Kandi Burruss has given us our summer earworm

Michael Harriot always nails it

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If what Whitlock believes is true, then my eyes have been opened. If fact-based criticism is offensive enough to make cops abrogate their professional duties and the very foundation of why they exist, then I finally understand why America is like this. According to Whitlock, it is crazy to expect police officers to live up to their pledge to protect and serve and be held responsible by the people who pay them. Next, you’ll be telling me that Black people want this country to live up to its pledge that “all men are created equal” and treat them equally, too!

What Jason Whitlock can teach us about white people, cops and America 

When I tell you O-T Fagbenle is a delight, please believe me

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“I’m a man whose greatest wealth and honor is my family. That’s number one. I’m a person who cares a lot about young people,” he says. “…I guess I’m an artist. I’m a person who is driven to contribute stories to people, and I think in some ways the job of the artist is to reflect the most intimate parts of themselves to others.”

O-T FAGBENLE IS SHOWING US A DIFFERENT SIDE OF BARACK OBAMA ON THE FIRST LADY

I have a new weekly column at DAME

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I’m not saying that journalism as a whole is completely fucked up, but it is trending in that direction. And this is scary because journalists are supposed to be the watchdogs of society. We have an obligation to be truthful and tell the people what is happening. That doesn’t always happen these days. 

U.S. Journalism is a Hellscape Right Now

America doesn’t care about Black women

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“About a third of our population is African American; African Americans have a higher incidence of maternal mortality. So, if you correct our population for race, we’re not as much of an outlier as it’d otherwise appear. Now, I say that not to minimize the issue but to focus the issue as to where it would be. For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality.”

Sen. Bill Cassidy proves America doesn’t care about Black women