If we contrast this conversation with the conversation we had last week about Tyler Perry, what Eboni and Dr. Bean are saying makes a lot of sense.
People were upset with Tyler Perry for saying Black women should settle for “struggle love,” but they are also upset with Eboni for saying Black women who achieve success have a harder time finding mates who meet their standards as they get older.
Eboni is not lying.
In my friend circle, all of us are successful in our careers, make above a certain amount of money, and live a lifestyle we have built for ourselves and become greatly accustomed to. In my immediate circle, none of us have ever been married.Eboni K. Williams had a good point, but a lot of people missed it
Once my focus was taken off turning myself into “wife material,” I was able to devote that energy to improving and evolving me for me. Regular talks with my therapist, a lot of self-critique-turned-into-active improvements and consistently listening to myself helped me to improve my relationship with myself as well as others around me.My life changed for the better once I decentered romance
For theGrio, I discuss how my life changed once I de-centered romance.