I don’t think this person truly knows why they do what they do nor why they chose to act this way to me. I certainly can’t explain it, nor do I feel the need to.
What I do know is that they are not a good person, no matter how much they try to pretend they are. There is no integrity to be had when your intentions come from a selfish and self-serving place.
I was open. I was honest. I did more than post platitudes on social media and act as if they were a reflection of my lived experience.
I am my lived experience each and every day, and I always own it — the good, the bad, and the ugly.
it’s not you; it’s them
writing
Stop giving Chris Brown a platform, Black women!
LinkSince the 2009 incident in which he assaulted his then-girlfriend Rihanna — an incident to which he pleaded guilty and received a felony conviction — Brown has remained an unapologetic jerk on all fronts. Last month, People magazine published a timeline of all his legal troubles since the 2009 conviction, and the list is long and full of examples of Brown being unable to control his temper and keep his hands to himself.
The 33-year-old is obviously very troubled and would likely benefit from long-term professional help, but what is not helping is all the people enabling him — most especially Black women.
Chris Brown is problematic, and it’s time for Black women to stop uplifting him
When Monday is a holiday
It’s supposed to be the beginning of a new work week, but today is President’s Day, and I don’t really feel much like working. I’m going to get stuff done anyway because that’s what I do (and if I don’t write, I don’t eat), but this day felt off from the moment I woke up. Whatever. Let’s get it.
GTA
I’ve said before that playing GTA is like playing violent Barbies for me. I have an unlimited supply of outfits to change her into.
Today, I found one of my favorite old school cars for her, and I changed her hair color so the style and color match me in real life.
My GTA character is vain just like me.
Today was uneventful. The end.
I’m back on my bullshit
LinkI had a fabulous Valentine’s Day.
There are days when I know I look fucking good, and this was one of those days. Thighs out, ass-length braids, fishnet stockings, over-the-knee boots—baby, I was serving.
I saw a show with the burlesque troupe Sweet Spot Nation. They put on an adult variety show, and I was thoroughly entertained. There was a singing guitarist, erotic spoken word, some sensuous sex play (with clothing on, of course)0, and girls shaking titties and ass. There were also two comedy performances, and those were funny too.
If you ever get the opportunity to see them live, I highly recommend it.
Continue readingProfessionalism standards and dress code policies
How is Pearson wearing a dashiki disrespecting anyone? Is it not disrespectful for Hawk to be offended by it? Would he have the same attitude if an East Indian woman wore a sari or a Japanese woman wore a kimono? Would he be offended by a Sikh wearing his turban?
Just where do we draw the line? Why is it acceptable for people of other cultures to acknowledge said cultures by wearing their traditional dress, but when a Black person does it, it’s suddenly “unprofessional”?
How professionalism standards and dress code policies support white supremacy
For theGrio, I wrote about how professionalism standards and dress codes help to uphold white supremacy. Both are almost always targeted specifically at Black people.
Happy birthday to Megan Thee Stallion
Today is Megan Thee Stallion’s 28th birthday.
She should be out celebrating and driving the boat, doing hoodrat shit with her ratchet friends, but instead she has been on a self-imposed hiatus, disappearing from the public eye immediately after Tory Lanez was convicted in December for the July 2020 incident in which he shot her in her feet.
Megan deserves so much better.
For theGrio, I wrote an open letter to her.
I hope wherever she is right now, she is surrounded by love, finding peace, feeling protected, and healing herself mentally and emotionally so she can come back stronger than ever. We miss her.
Return of the Mack
Good morning!
As I have shared in my writing as of late, I have not been in a good place mentally over the last few weeks.
Depression is a monster, and when it takes over, even the smallest of tasks can feel insurmountable. The inability to focus long enough to get anything done is a productivity killer, and for someone like me who works primarily as a freelancer or contract worker, that means it’s an income killer as well.
Continue readingErykah Badu and her daughter Puma broke the internet
For theGrio, I wrote about y’all being entirely too goofy over the pictures of Erykah Badu and her oldest daughter, Puma.
I noticed two very specific types of reactions to these photos. First there were the “Oh my god! I would never” people, and to them I say, “Well, don’t then, bitch.”
Then I noticed all the grown men making nasty comments and posting rapey memes with captions expressing what they would like to do to an 18-year-old. Y’all need to be on a registry somewhere.
It’s OK for us to celebrate Erykah and Puma being empowered to show off their bodies. I want all Black women to feel this free.
What’s NOT OK is making sexual comments about an 18-year-old just because “she’s legal.” Go sit your overgrown ass in a corner somewhere and figure out why you are sexualizing someone that young.
Because to be clear, neither Erykah nor her daughter sexualized themselves in those pictures. Y’ALL sexualized them with your responses to them.
Anyway, read “Age of consent doesn’t give you permission to be a creep.”
Was this pussy pap ready? Yes. It was.*
StandardThere’s a new issue of my newsletter, off the record, out.
This is a follow up to last week’s piece, “I’m ready to be a ‘Soft Black Girl.'” I talk about the process I’m going through right now, dealing with both my depressive episode and the thing that triggered it.
This is where I tell you that if you haven’t already subscribed to my newsletter, you should ASAP.
But there’s more…
Continue readingAre you suffering from dickslexia?
Do you know what dickslexia is?
Do you know what it means to be dickmatized?
Are you a dickologist?
I am, and I break down various words and phrases related to the dick in the latest issue of my newsletter, off the record.
Today’s issue is called “dickology,” obviously.
Jerrod Carmichael was the perfect host for the Golden Globes
Let’s keep it real: The Hollywood Foreign Press Association is still under the same microscope it has been under for the last two years as it continues to fight its way out of the negative press it received for not having any Black members.
NBC decided not to air the Golden Globe Awards ceremony in 2022 because of the fact HFPA was embroiled in so much scandal. It was a mess.
As most organizations do when they get called for blatant racism or a lack of diversity, HFPA has been bending over backwards to try and make amends, including adding six new Black members to their ranks and ensuring that more Black actors and projects were nominated for this year’s awards.
They didn’t stop there, though.
Continue readingI love when Black Twitter watches a show as a family
My favorite nights on Twitter are the nights when some movie or program is on television and Black Twitter watches it as a family, providing commentary all the way through.
We have done this with Game of Thrones, House of the Dragon, and a lot of other television shows and made-for-tv movies.
We did it again this Tuesday when the Golden Globe Awards aired on NBC for the first time in two years.
Continue readingHabits and systems versus goals
StandardI’m reading a book right now that is totally changing my perspective on the way I set goals and how I go about achieving them.
The book is Atomic Habits by James Clear. I have gotten so much useful information from it, I decided to share some of what I have been learning in the latest issue of my newsletter, off the record.
Read the latest issue, “in medias res” and let me know what you think.
I don’t like Skip Bayless
I have made no secret of how much I detest Skip Bayless, Stephen A. Smith, and Jeff Van Gundy.
When Jeff Van Gundy is one of the announcers during a basketball game, I remind everyone of how much I don’t like him.
Goals are better than resolutions, in my opinion
In a former iteration of my life, I was one of those people who made new year’s resolutions that never made it past January.
The problem, I discovered, was that while the resolutions may have been worthwhile, without specifically defining them and giving them deadlines, they simply became things I wished I could do or dreamed of doing. I needed a better plan.
Read “Why I started setting goals instead of making resolutions every new year.”
Do you have a personal (we)blog?
I wrote my very first piece for The Verge, and I am super excited because it’s about something near and dear to my heart: personal blogging.
I have had a blog or online journal in some form since the late 90s. I started on Geocities, migrated to Blogger, taught myself to configure Greymatter, Movable Type, and WordPress, and I used all the other sites like Typepad, livejournal, tumblr, Vox (before it became the site it is now, it was a blogging platform similar to what tumblr is now)) and everything in between.
The point is, I’m not new to this; I’m true to this.
Continue readingThe treatment of Megan Thee Stallion since the night of her shooting is disgusting
Megan Thee Stallion has been treated like the villain ever since news broke that she was shot by Canadian rapper Tory Lanez. She has been the victim of targeted harassment, weaponized misinformation and general misogyny and misognynoir.
I discuss this in my latest for theGrio, “Before, during and after the trial of Tory Lanez, Megan Thee Stallion was treated as more of a villain than he was. Let’s talk about it.”
Pete was subjected to a targeted campaign of weaponized misinformation and had her name dragged through the mud day after day. In her testimony during the trial, she tearfully related how this entire situation has impacted her life and made things harder for her, saying at one point, “Because I was shot, I’ve been turned into some kind of villain, and he’s the victim. This has messed up my whole life.
“I wish he would have just shot and killed me (rather than) have to go through this torture,” she said.
Black women are unprotected, and in the hip-hop community, many will rush to defend a man for his actions before they will protect the woman his abusive actions harm. It’s sickening.
Read the article, and let me know what you think.
haiku #5: you are the prize
Standardexplore your options leave nothing on the table make them work for it
Our children are not safe
Why don’t Black children get the same benefit of the doubt that white children receive? Why are Black children adultified while white children are infantilized? Why are people so quick to take action when the offender is a Black child, but less likely to move to action when the harm is being caused by a white child?
These are just some of the questions I am looking for answers to in my latest piece for theGrio, Black children are not safe in a world ruled by white supremacy.
In this piece, I discuss the examples of Bobbi Wilson, the 9-year-old girl who had the police called on her by a neighbor who knew her because she was spraying a homemade concoction on trees to stop the infestation of an insect that is harmful to the trees.
Continue readinghaiku #4: show me
Standardtell me you love me without using the word "love" actions speak louder
it’s like a text version of OnlyFans
StandardHello, friends, non friends, and people I don’t fuck with!
If you are here, it’s because you are already a longtime fan of my writing, or you read something I wrote, or you follow me on social media, or you are some weirdo who read something I wrote that upset you, and now you are here to try and put me in my place in the comment section (alas, trolls: i moderate comments like a mutha fucka).
Whichever category you fall into, it’s obvious you cannot get enough of me, so I wanted to offer you the opportunity to sign up for free content on my newsletter, “off the record.”
“off the record” is part memoir, part cultural commentary, part news and information—honestly, think of it as a longer version of my Twitter timeline. I talk about everything. This will be the same.
Go ahead and subscribe for the free content. I dare you.
haiku #3: adjectives
Standardkind. sweet. observant. attentive. considerate. gentleman. scholar.
Van Jones is a problem for Black people
A recording and transcript of the speech Jones delivered were published online yesterday. Regardless of where you stand on what exactly he was apologizing for, the entire thing reeks of both-sideism. Jones discredits activism in the Black community, throws Black people under the bus in favor of trying to score points with white people and blames us for Kanye West. In short, this mess stinks, but let me go point-by-point and explain why.
Op-Ed: Van Jones Needs To Be Held Accountable For His Anti-Black Comments
For NewsOne, I shared my thoughts on Van Jones and his apology to the Jewish community on behalf of Black people.
read more after the jump
Continue readinghaiku #2
Standardinfatuation mutual admiration pure adoration
Twitter is dying a slow death under Elon Musk
To be clear, Twitter was already on life support, but Captain Apartheid swooped in and started unplugging all the machinery, and now the site is wheezing for help and pushing the nurse call button, but no one is responding.
What we lost in the fire: Elon Musk is slowly killing the things that made Twitter a force for good
haiku #1
Standardthinking about you a confidante and a muse away message blues
You happy now, bitch?
“Wendell Pierce is a Black man who grew up in New Orleans, Louisiana, with parents who stressed education — understanding that your first wealth is health, and soon thereafter is education,” the actor, who recently became the first Black man to play the lead in Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman on Broadway, told Andscape.
How ‘Death of a Salesman’ helped Wendell Pierce become fearless
Y’all. I had the extreme pleasure of interviewing actor Wendell Pierce to discuss his role playing Willy Loman in Death of a Salesman. Pierce is the first Black actor to play the role on Broadway.
Wendell Pierce is one of my favorite actors. I stan. I was so excited to do this interview, and he did not disappoint. (read more after the jump)
Continue readingStephen A Smith, Jerry Jones, and defending racism
“I’m pretty pissed off,” Smith said. “I’m pissed off but not for reasons people think. I am very, very fond of Jerry Jones, and I’m not hiding that from anybody. Is his record perfect? No, but I’m pissed off because he doesn’t deserve what just happened. He doesn’t deserve it. One report, our report, said he was 14 years old. Another report said he was 15 years old. At minimum that’s 65 years ago.”
Stephen A. Smith defending Jerry Jones is egregious, and here’s why
The Washington Post published an article about Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones last week. The article included a photo taken in September 1957 when six Black teens attempted to integrate the racially-segregated North Little Rock High School. They were met by an angry white mob at the front door of the school.
Jerry Jones, who was 14 at the time, is pictured in the photo standing in the crowd. When the photo came out, he rightfully received public backlash
ESPN commentator Stephen A. Smith put on his Jason Whitlock costume and rushed to the defense of Jones, who he says is the victim of an attempt at “cancel culture” for something he did when he was a kid.
If only Stephen A understood that it’s a lot more nuanced than that.
My latest for theGrio.
Karen Bass is the new mayor of Los Angeles
The job ahead of her is not an easy one, but I am fully confident that she will be able to handle it because let’s face it, if you want something done, you really just have to get a Black woman to do it.
Congratulations, Karen Bass. You Deserve.
Rick Caruso thought he was going to be able to buy his way into becoming the Mayor of Los Angeles, but it did not work out the way he thought. After spending more than $100 million of his own money and outspending Karen bass 11 to 1, he lost, and Los Angeles has it’s first woman, first Black woman, and only the second Black person in history to be mayor.
She deserves. My latest at theGrio.
Drake is a sassy bitch
StandardListen, I get it. You are a white woman of color who was born and raised in Canada. You are an actor who got your start on the Canadian show “Degrassi,” and you are now in the midst of playing your biggest role, that of a rapper named Drake.
Dear Drake, please leave Megan Thee Stallion and every other Black woman out of your mouth
For theGrio, I addressed Drake and his messy bitch behavior. In case you are unaware, on his recent release with 21 Savage, he decided to go after Megan Thee Stallion unprovoked, and I don’t like that.