Are you there, menopause? It’s me, Monique. 

Link

Before you all start jumping in my mentions on Twitter, sending me emails, or leaving comments on my personal website with your completely unsolicited advice (in another post, I will explain why y’all need to stop doing that under all circumstances), please know that I have been to the doctor plenty of times to address my period woes. 

As a teen, I was placed on birth control pills to regulate my periods. I don’t have fibroids. I just have a very angry uterus that tries to take me down each month. 

These days, my periods last four to five days. I bleed heavily, and I clot a lot. The cramps are uncomfortable — especially the dreaded “butt cramp” that I haven’t bothered Googling to find out what it is about, but I know other women experience it because we’ve exchanged stories on Twitter. 

I just had a birthday last week, and I can honestly say, I’m ready for my period to go the way of the Dodo. 

Being fatigued, cranky, sick to my stomach, crampy, and overall uncomfortable for five days every month is a drag, and I’m completely over it. 

In the same way I was wishing for my period to start, I am now wishing for menopause to start so I can be done with this shit. 

Are you there, menopause? It’s me, Monique. 

Let’s argue: Which fast-food chicken chain has the best fried chicken?

Link

That man legit rated Popeyes a 7/10 while saying KFC was an 8/10, and I know from personal experience that that is a big ass lie, but I’m not here to yuck anyone else’s yum. We all have different tastes in fried chicken, and we all like our fried chicken in different ways. 

As an example, I am a Los Angeles native who currently lives in Los Angeles, and I have eaten fried chicken all over my city. I know people love to come here and go to Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles because that’s all people from out of town talk about. 

Honestly, Roscoe’s chicken ain’t all that. I am not saying their chicken isn’t good; it definitely is, but the way people be raving about it would have you think there was magic in it, and I can honestly say the deli in the Albertson’s on Crenshaw and 39th seasons its fried chicken way better than that, and it’s a lot cheaper. 

Let’s argue: Which fast-food chicken chain has the best fried chicken?

The Carlee Russell situation will not stop me from believing Black women

Link

If anything, we should be happy that a missing Black woman got the level of national attention that Carlee did, and we should be advocating for that to happen every time a Black woman or girl is missing. Black women and girls do not get the same level of publicity or attention that missing white girls and women do. This is a fact. 

According to the National Crime Information Center, 268,884 women went missing in the year 2020, and of those, more than 90,000 were Black women and girls. This means that while Black women represent less than 15% of the entire U.S. population, they made up more than one-third of the women and girls reported missing. And cases involving Black girls and women, on average, stay open four times longer than other cases. Unfortunately, we don’t hear their stories because they don’t get told. 

The Carlee Russell story isn’t going to make people stop believing Black women, and it isn’t going to make them stop looking for us. The simple fact is they already don’t believe us, and they already don’t look for us. 

The Carlee Russell situation will not stop me from believing Black women

Carlee Russell doesn’t owe us anything

Link

Here is where I inform you that Carlee Russell doesn’t owe anyone anything. She doesn’t have to talk about what happened to the public. The only questions she needs to answer are those from law enforcement investigators working on her case. That’s it, and that’s all. 

The internet and social media specifically have put us in a space where people expect instant gratification at every turn. 

A woman disappears on Thursday night, returns to her family safely on Saturday night, and by Tuesday, everyone is demanding that the police investigation be wrapped up and a full public disclosure be made about what happened in these last four days. 

Except this is not an episode of “Law & Order: SUV.” This is someone’s real life. 

Did you pray for her safe return because you actually wanted her to return safely, or did you post your “prayers” to social media for the likes and clout?

Do you actually care about the safety and well-being of Black women, or is Black suffering more your kink?

Carlee Russell doesn’t owe us anything

Keke Palmer and other Black women deserve to express both their sensuality and sexuality unapologetically

Link

Darius Jackson, a no-name negro with no claim to fame other than the fact that he fathered a beautiful child with Keke Palmer, recently became the main character on Black Twitter after he dared to try and publicly shame Keke for an outfit she wore to the Usher residency in Las Vegas. 

In a video that was widely shared across the internet, the “Confessions” crooner walked up to Keke and serenaded her. They danced closely together as he sang to her. Keke, who shows no signs of having recently had a baby, looked stunning in a dazzling Black see-through number that put her “cheeks” on full display. 

Darius, aka the “breadloser” in Keke’s house, wrapped himself up in a feelings burrito after the video clip of Usher and Keke went viral. In response to a celebrity news social media account posting the video, he wrote through his tears, “It’s the outfit tho…you a mom.”

Keke Palmer and other Black women deserve to express both their sensuality and sexuality unapologetically
Aside

In my mind, I know I am a good writer.

Then I read something Christian, or Michael Harriot, or Kirsten West Savali, wrote, and I feel like I am in a writing class with giants as my contemporaries, and I need to spend more time with books and a dictionary and a thesaurus, and I need to fill up one of those Blue Books from college every single day for practice, and even then, I may not be as good as I know I can be.

Writing is both a labor of love and an exercise in self doubt for me.

I’m a fat Black woman with a big mouth, a loud laugh, and the confidence to go along with those things. People try daily, but they are hard pressed to make me feel insecure about myself, my looks, my level of attractiveness, or the like.

But my writing?

Like I said, I know I’m good, but am I *that* good.

My writing is very conversational. I speak plainly so people hear me.

I don’t twist words and phrases into beautiful and intricate knots like Kris does. I don’t weave linguistic tapestries of understanding the way Nakachi does.

I just write it the way I see it in my brain.

I have a loyal audience, and I get a lot of praise, but all the external validation in the world isn’t enough. EYE need to feel like I wrote something good, and I don’t always feel that.

I know I’m not the only writer to experience this, and this is not a plea for praise or a fishing expedition for compliments.

I just read something Kris wrote, and I started thinking about how writers are conjurers. The magic is in the delivery.

So then I started thinking about the kinds of spells I’ve cast and the kinds of spells I want to cast in the future.

And then I started wondering if I really think my magic is all that, and now we are here.

Anyway.

I know I am a good writer. I know a lot of good writers. I’m grateful to be able to look to my contemporaries for inspiration and motivation.

I just want my magic to wow ME, and I don’t think I’m there yet.

Ricky Williams is advocating for mental health in ‘Soul Training’

Link

In Black and brown communities, there’s a very good reason not to trust mental health practitioners and professionals in the same way that there’s a good reason not to trust the system, so I think we have to start there and acknowledge that most systems have not been for Black and brown people. So if the help is being offered by the same hand that just bit you, you would be foolish to give them your hand and trust them to heal the wound they created. 

You want someone who can journey with you into your inner world and be trustworthy enough not to weaponize it against you or use it against you. You want someone who is cultured enough to understand your experience to never project their ideas of the world onto you and allow you to have your own ideas that are rooted in your culture and who you are and the communities you grew up in. 

Being vulnerable is a luxury. I’m reminded when I go into environments where survival is life and death on a daily basis that vulnerability is not necessarily a thing that’s going to help you survive; it’s actually a thing that might get you hurt or might get you killed. So when it comes to Black and brown communities, they have been put in a position in society where they constantly have to survive, and this luxury of vulnerability isn’t available to them. 

Ricky Williams is advocating for mental health in ‘Soul Training’

a hot link sandwich #4

Link

When I tell y’all I was completely humbled and flattered by that, please believe me. Ever since Michael and I started working together in 2017, I have been one of his biggest fans. His writing is brilliant. He is a gifted storyteller and a knowledgeable historian.

I really want to be like him when I grow up, and him liking something I wrote is worth bragging about, so there you have it.

a hot link sandwich #4

My favorite drug dealer TV shows, ranked

Link

Now, I realize that my favorites are not everyone else’s favorites, and I realize that I have not watched all the same shows as everyone else, so this is why I say this is my ranking. It’s not definitive by any means; it is just a listing of the ones I like. Your opinion will likely differ, and that’s fine. Go write about it somewhere else because another thing about me? I’m not finna argue with y’all about nothing. 

Oh, one other thing before I get this list started. All of these shows are personal favorites. A show being last on the list doesn’t mean it is a bad show; it wouldn’t be on this list if I didn’t like it and recommend it for viewing. It just means that when compared to my other favorite shows, this is where it is on the list. 

Let’s begin. 

My favorite drug dealer TV shows, ranked

Here’s what Sarah Jane Comrie could do to fix the Citi Bike situation, but she won’t

Link

We are upset because Sarah Jane Comrie chose to react in a way that was too over the top for the type of dispute that was happening at that moment. 

The boy’s side of the story has now come out, and we’ve learned that she initially asked three of the boys in the video if she could take their bikes, and after being told “no” by all three, she proceeded to try and commandeer the bike of the boy we see resisting her in the video. 

His side of the story makes her look so much worse. She comes off as entitled at the very least, but the history of white women weaponizing their whiteness and tears in the name of causing trouble for Black people is what has people — Black people in particular — on edge. 

Here’s what Sarah Jane Comrie could do to fix the Citi Bike situation, but she won’t

Mother Of Teen In Citi Bike Video Speaks Out: ‘No One Bothered To Ask Him What Happened’

Link

“This situation is really driving me crazy and making me sick,” Betty said. “We have never been in this situation before.”

“We came to this country to make a better life for our kids,” she continued. “We are not thieves. Just because we are poor doesn’t mean we are thieves.”

Betty said Michael had to stay home from school for a few days because of the mental anguish of the incident and all that has come after it.

“As a mother, you don’t want to see your child like that,” she said.

Betty said she was horrified when she first saw the video.

“My reaction when I saw it was ‘oh my God. I almost lost my son in that moment.’ Do you understand me? I am not from here, but we all know this country,” she said. “But how the policemen here do our sons, and our husbands, and our fathers. They kill us.”

Mother Of Teen In Citi Bike Video Speaks Out: ‘No One Bothered To Ask Him What Happened’

Accountability is like kryptonite to whiteness

Link

The racist mob has tried to make the narrative be about everything but Sarah Jane Comrie’s behavior in the video — even though it’s her behavior that everyone is upset about. 

There is a reason for this. 

Accountability is like kryptonite to whiteness. Whiteness does not like being held accountable. Whiteness doesn’t like seeing white people being held accountable. 

Accountability is like kryptonite to whiteness

The ‘receipts’ don’t matter. The bike doesn’t matter. Sarah Jane Comrie’s actions matter

Link

Her lawyer’s statements in the media are meant to obfuscate the actual issue at hand. He is making it about whether or not she tried to steal a bike and whether or not she actually paid for said bike, but even he has to know on some level that’s not the real issue. 

Judging by his statements in defense of her, the employment lawyer representing Sarah Jane Comrie understands that her very loud and public outburst where she weaponizes her tears and begins screaming for help even when she was in no imminent danger is the issue. 

People who saw that video understood exactly what Sarah Jane Comrie was doing. It was evident in the smug look you see on her face right before she began screaming for help. 

Attorney Justin Marino knows that even Sarah Jane Comrie’s employer, NYC Health + Hospitals called her behavior in the video “disturbing.”

The ‘receipts’ don’t matter. The bike doesn’t matter. Sarah Jane Comrie’s actions matter

White People Like Sarah Jane Comrie Always Get The Benefit Of The Doubt

Standard

It’s really funny the way white people get all up in arms about one of their own being dragged through the media, but they have no issue with it when it’s a Black victim having their past dredged up in the wake of their murder ala Jordan Neely. The hypocrisy is blinding and white. 

Adding to the madness is a follow-up article from the New York Post in which they claim to have receipts sent to them by Justin Marino, an employment lawyer defending Sarah Jane Comrie to help her keep her job with NYC Health + Hospitals (NYC H+H). 

Marino claims the alleged receipts prove that Comrie rented the bike first and it was immediately put back in the rack one minute later, and then she rented another shortly thereafter. 

The Post follow-up was written after Marino sent a letter in response to their original article.

White People Like Sarah Jane Comrie Always Get The Benefit Of The Doubt

Let’s talk about the 50 Cent Cinematic Universe

Link

If “Raising Kanan” accomplishes anything, it makes teenage Kanan (Mekai Curtis) something of a sympathetic character. You can see how the things that happened to him in his youth, especially when it comes to dealing with his mother Raq (Patina Miller). The main men in his life, his uncles Lou (Malcolm Mays) and Marvin (London Brown) are drug dealers and major players in Raq’s drug empire, and they are his main influences. Then he gets the added rub of finding out his real father is a cop (Omar Epps). Life is hard for young Kanan Stark. 

That said, I’m not sure how all of that leads to him being the homicidal maniac he is in the original series, but I’m sure we’ll find out. The show has already completed two seasons, and a third should be released this summer. 

The 50 Cent Cinematic Universe has me in a chokehold

Sarah Jane Comrie used her whiteness to try and steal a Citi Bike

Link

Sarah Jane Comrie knew exactly what she was doing when she began yelling. She wanted to draw the wrong type of attention to those young men so she could force them to give her what she wanted — the motorized bike.

She understands that as a white woman, she is always going to be viewed as the victim in any situation. She knows that white comfort is always prioritized over everything else. She is aware that if she makes a loud enough scene, some white man or a cop will come flying in to “rescue” her.

It’s what she wanted.

Sarah Jane Comrie is a 2023 version of Carolyn Bryant.

Bryant, who died two weeks ago on April 25, should have been tried in Emmett Till’s murder, but she never was. She died of old age — a luxury she denied Emmett Till.

Emmett Till was murdered because of her lie.

Sarah Jane Comrie Is A 2023 Version Of Carolyn Bryant
Continue reading

My favorite piece of chicken is the thigh

Link

You heard me. The chicken thigh is the best piece of chicken in the entire bunch. Whenever I go somewhere and get chicken — whether it’s Popeyes, Church’s or Roscoe’s — I always ask for all thighs. Don’t bother giving me any other pieces, because I am definitely going to complain and send them back.

The definitive ranking of chicken pieces in order from best to worst

Let’s talk about the way Black women are constantly targeted for ‘humbling’

Link

Before the whining starts, I want to be clear that I realize all women are shamed for the tiniest of things that shouldn’t even matter or be anyone else’s business, but as Black women, we are held under a microscope and have every decision, emotion, hairstyle, financial status, education level, number of previous lovers — you name it, we have had it picked apart and thrown in our faces at any given moment. 

Black women get shamed for everything

Snowfall is legend

Standard

Everyone from the hood or hood adjacent knows a dude who is out there wandering the streets looking crazy and lost. When we see him, we say, “You know who that is?”

For us right now in this moment, that dude is Franklin Saint.

Continue reading

The Tennessee State House just did the most racist thing

Standard

I believe Elie Mystal said it best when he told MSNBC, “Tennessee has now given the entire country an object lesson in critical race theory better than any AP history course ever could have. Everybody sees it now. Everybody knows it now. Everybody gets exactly what is going on.”

Continue reading

MLK is not your Black Jesus, white people

Standard

Today, on the 55th anniversary of his murder, I wrote about how white people weaponize Dr. Martin Luther King, his work, and his message against Black people.

“One of the biggest lies ever told about King is that he believed in a colorblind society. This is false.

It is an idea derived from a 40-word passage from his 1963 “I Have a Dream” speech in which he said, ‘I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.’

And if we are being honest, that 40-word passage has been whittled down to nine simple words “not be judged by the color of their skin.”

What King meant when he said that and what white people have twisted it to mean are two different things.”

Dear white people: Martin Luther King Jr. is not Black Jesus. He did not die for our ‘sins.’