Eboni K. Williams had a good point, but a lot of people missed it

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If we contrast this conversation with the conversation we had last week about Tyler Perry, what Eboni and Dr. Bean are saying makes a lot of sense. 

People were upset with Tyler Perry for saying Black women should settle for “struggle love,” but they are also upset with Eboni for saying Black women who achieve success have a harder time finding mates who meet their standards as they get older. 

Eboni is not lying. 

In my friend circle, all of us are successful in our careers, make above a certain amount of money, and live a lifestyle we have built for ourselves and become greatly accustomed to. In my immediate circle, none of us have ever been married. 

Eboni K. Williams had a good point, but a lot of people missed it

No matter how high we climb, white people will find a way to put us in our ‘place’

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“The party took place in the garden of the Forest Hills home of Dr. Duroseau and Claude, and the guests were all Black or Latino except for one person.

“According to the lawsuit, as the party was coming to an end, a white woman walked into the Duroseau home uninvited with a “large, menacing German Shepherd” and demanded they turn the music down. Duroseau told her they were having a birthday party and that it was wrapping up soon. He asked her to leave and went back to the backyard where guests continued to socialize.

“That’s when another white neighbor, a man identified as 48-year-old Marcus Rosebrock, decided to turn his water hose on the partygoers to make them leave.”

No matter how high we climb, white people will find a way to put us in our ‘place’

Pumpkin is a lie! Sweet potato is THAT pie.

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Sweet potato pie is delicious. It is diabetes in a pie tin. It is full of sugary goodness and the full texture of sweet potatoes that hang around on your tongue and fill your soul with light. 

The texture of sweet potato is stronger than the texture of pumpkin pie, and that’s probably because sweet potato pie had to fight all its life to not be mistaken for it’s lesser companion. Sweet potato pie stands out; pumpkin pie does not.

There are Black women and men everywhere who are known for their sweet potato pies. My cousin Shaun, for instance, makes a bomb sweet potato pie. I also make a great sweet potato pie, and I do mine with a buttery graham cracker crust, and that flavor profile is top notch, baby. 

Pumpkin is a lie! Sweet potato is THAT pie.

Angelica Ross’ experience proves Black women don’t have allies in the workplace

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There are people who would call these “microaggressions,” and I want all of us to stop using that word because it minimizes the impact of these things when they happen, and because they happen so frequently, they are no longer “micro.” They are macro AF.

Angelica is yet another Black woman having to advocate for herself in the workplace because, in the workplace, Black women have no allies.

Everyone wants to smile in our faces and call us “girlfriend” and say things like “Yassssssssssssss” and “You go, girl!” as they snap their fingers and roll their necks in a mockery of our aesthetic, but at the end of the day, when it really matters, they are silent.

Angelica Ross’ experience proves Black women don’t have allies in the workplace

Black women across social media are tired of Tyler Perry’s relationship ‘advice’

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It was this next part that essentially set the internet on fire.

“So, if you can find love, if that man works — you know — at whatever job and is a good man and is good to you and honors the house and honors his wife and does what he can because his gift may not be your gift,” Perry said. 

“That is OK,” he continued. “That’s not somebody who’s beneath you; that’s somebody who came to love you at your worth, right? And as long as he’s secure in himself to know that ‘Yep, she makes most of the money; all I can pay is the light bill,’ as long as she’s comfortable enough to say, ‘I’m going to cover the mortgage and all of the other stuff; you handle the light bill, baby. You can take me to dinner every now and then,’ that is fine.”

Black women across social media are tired of Tyler Perry’s relationship ‘advice’

Jann Wenner is an example of why Black media matters

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If we leave it up to white men like Jann Wenner, Black stories won’t ever get told. 

Jann Wenner is the Ron DeSantis of music journalism. He would rather erase all the voices that aren’t white and male than admit that anyone else contributed anything to a culture he is directly benefiting from. 

Jann Wenner is an example of why Black media matters

White Principal Blames Black Teacher For Assembly That Singled Out Black Students For Low Test Scores

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This is a story about Florida.

I’ve written before about the anti-Blackness being fostered in the Sunshine State; their governor, Ron DeSantis, is leading the charge by legislating anti-Black racism and all other kinds of bigotry in the state.

It is especially egregious when anti-Blackness is targeted at innocent Black children.

Let me explain.

In case you missed it for whatever reason, Bunnell Elementary School in Flagler County, Florida — a school district already notorious for their low test scores — pulled all of its Black fourth and fifth graders into an assembly late last month where they were shown a PowerPoint presentation that blamed them for the school’s low scores on state standardized tests.

The children were told that if they didn’t bring the test scores up, they would likely end up in jail, dead, or shot to death.

Never mind that Black students make up only 14% of the student population at Bunnell. In a school where white students make up 60% of the student body, only 32% of students are meeting or exceeding the required measurements on state assessments. That ain’t the Black kids’ fault.

These details didn’t matter, however, as even Black students who were meeting or exceeding the metrics were pulled into the assembly.

No other students in the school were made to attend such a presentation or spoken to about the low test scores.

It was racist, and it’s OK for us to call it racist. To not acknowledge the inherent racism and implicit bias in this incident is to spit in the faces of the Black children who endured this injustice.

Parents of the Black students said their children were traumatized by the assembly — especially the part where they were told they would be “shot dead” if their scores didn’t improve.

White Principal Blames Black Teacher For Assembly That Singled Out Black Students For Low Test Scores

I love my friends

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I love my friends.

I have surrounded myself with women who inspire me to be better on a daily basis; hold me accountable when it’s warranted; uplift me when I need it; and just generally support me in ways I would not be able to adequately enumerate.

We are all unique in our own ways, but we all agree that in life we want to keep striving to grow and evolve and be a better version of ourselves with each update.

I was just on the phone with one of my sister friends for 3 hours, mostly talking about credit, finance, and savings strategies.

These are the kinds of conversations I love having. The energy is high.

That’s not to say we don’t sometimes engage in gossip and being messy, but the high energy conversations definitely outweigh the low energy ones, and for that, I am extremely grateful.

Black Twitter is up in arms over Delta’s changes to its loyalty program, and it’s hilarious

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In case you missed it, Delta Airlines made drastic changes to both the way you earn points in its loyalty program and who can access its Sky Club airport lounge. 

To sum it up, certain American Express Platinum cardholders who enjoyed unlimited access to the airport lounges while flying Delta will now be limited to six visits per year and the co-branded Amex Delta Reserve cardholders will be limited to 10 visits per year. Both sets of cardholders will be able to unlock unlimited access by spending $75,000 on their cards within a single calendar year.

Black Twitter is up in arms over Delta’s changes to its loyalty program, and it’s hilarious

Shoplifting is not a capital offense, but Ta’Kiya Young died for it

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A police officer who had only been in her presence for 12 seconds shot and killed her. 

He didn’t know her name. He didn’t know she was pregnant and due to have a baby girl in two months. He didn’t know she had previously been accused of petty crimes. He didn’t even know if she had actually stolen any liquor. 

In the moment he pulled his gun on Ta’Kiya Young while yelling for her to get out of her car, all he knew was she had been accused of stealing from a grocery store, and he decided that was enough to warrant aggressively pulling a gun on her and threatening her life — a life he eventually took. 

Shoplifting is not a capital offense, but Ta’Kiya Young died for it

Black women have been holding it down for America at the U.S. Open, but when has America held them down?

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Before Gauff, the last three American U.S. Open champions were Black women — Venus Williams, Serena Williams and Sloane Stephens. And now, add Coco Gauff to that list.

It’s worth noting that the Williams sisters have multiple wins between them in that 20-year span.

People keep mistakenly bringing up Naomi Osaka in this discussion, and I’d like to note that while we also celebrate her Black Girl Magic as well, Naomi plays for Japan when she competes, not the United States, and in this discussion, we are referencing U.S. winners.

Black women have been holding it down for America at the U.S. Open, but when has America held them down?

It’s safer to be a neo-Nazi in Florida than it is to be Black or LGBTQ+

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In the same press release, which denounced the demonstrations for the bigoted hate parades that they were, the ADL said another demonstration took place later that same day. The two extremist groups involved in that hate gathering were identified as the Goyim Defense League (GDL) and Blood Tribe (BT). The second “demonstration,” which the participants called the “March of the Redshirts,” included 51 people — all of whom were wearing red shirts, black masks and black pants. They carried swastika flags, performed Hitler salutes and yelled things like “white power” and “Jews will not replace us.”

USA Today reports that some of those involved in the demonstrations displayed messaging in support of Ron DeSantis, their resident bigot-in-chief. 

Some Florida lawmakers have come out to denounce the demonstrations, but you know who has yet to say anything about them? 

Ron DeSantis. 

Through his words and legislative actions, DeSantis has created an environment where bigotry feels free to walk proudly in neon clothing out in the open. It doesn’t have to hide under the white hoods and sheets of yesteryear. It can show its face proudly because the highest-ranking member of the state government has given bigots a pass to do what they want. 

It’s safer to be a neo-Nazi in Florida than it is to be Black or LGBTQ+

Police shot and killed Ta’Kiya Young and her unborn daughter. Now they’re playing the ‘victim.’

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The police in Blendon Township, Ohio, are already hard at work building a case for victim-blaming and making Ta’Kiya Young responsible for her own death while simultaneously framing the cop who killed her and her unborn daughter as the victim.

Before we even knew the details of what happened during that Aug. 24 shooting and well before the release of police bodycam footage on Friday, the Columbus Dispatch had already given us a synopsis of Ta’Kiya’s life story, including the fact that she was a teenage mother to two sons, 6-year-old Ja’Kobie and 3-year-old Ja’Kenli. At the time she was killed, Ta’Kiya was seven months pregnant with her third child, a girl who was due to be born in November. 

The Dispatch made sure to mention Ta’Kiya Young had some minor criminal infractions in her past and that on the day she died, the grandmother who raised her had called the police on her to report her for violating a protection order, and a misdemeanor charge was filed against Ta’Kiya. 

None of that matters in the context of the police officer shooting and killing her, but we are being fed this information anyway because whenever a Black person is the victim of an extrajudicial killing by a police officer, there is an immediate rush to dehumanize them and make them less sympathetic in the eyes of the public. 

The fact is, the police didn’t know anything about Ta’Kiya Young when they approached her to follow up on an accusation made by a Kroger employee that Young had shoplifted alcohol from the store. 

Police shot and killed Ta’Kiya Young and her unborn daughter. Now they’re playing the ‘victim.’

Stop trying to whitesplain Black women’s experience in America

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In other words, white people love to come around and whitesplain the Black experience to Black people even though they have never been Black a day in their lives, and judging from the way their fragility and thin skin erupt into irrational outbursts on the internet, I’m going to guess they have neither the mental nor the intestinal fortitude to survive even one day in a Black experience. 

White people don’t understand the inanity of having your tone policed when you are speaking up for yourselves in a situation when the power dynamic of race comes into play. They don’t understand that in situations like what Coco went through, you have to adapt to the sensitivities of the white person you are addressing even as they are trampling over yours with no regard. They can’t imagine a world where everything you do is viewed through the lens of you being Black and how that lens is clouded with the smudges of implicit bias, systemic racism and white privilege. 

In fact, it is white privilege that thrusts them into the position of thinking they can speak with authority and tell us how we are misunderstanding something that happened to us and not them. 

Stop trying to whitesplain Black women’s experience in America

Coco Gauff advocated for herself in the workplace, so of course, a white woman cried

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When Gauff drew this to the umpire’s attention, and in a now-viral video, we can see them going back and forth as the umpire tells Gauff that she plays “very quick” while her opponent plays “slow,” and Gauff corrects her and says she plays at a “normal, medium pace.”

Both the crowd observing the match as well as the ESPN commentators agreed with Gauff, and her statements to the umpire were met with loud applause.

As ESPN reports, the crowd began watching the clock and yelling “timer” every time Siegemund was slow to be ready for the next serve, and when she later had her own exchange with the umpire, the crowd booed her.

Coco Gauff advocated for herself in the workplace, so of course, a white woman cried

In honor of Michael Jackson’s 65th birthday, here are some facts you need to know about him

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Quickly and without using Google, tell me who else performed at the Motown 25 celebration that aired on NBC on May 16, 1983.

You can’t, and do you know why you can’t?

You can’t because the only thing anyone remembers is Michael Jackson performing Billie Jean and doing the moonwalk for the first time on national television. 

I got chills just typing that. 

I was two months shy of my 12th birthday. We were watching that special as a family, and because it was such a big deal, we were watching it on the big floor model television in our sunken living room instead of on the smaller television in the family room where my parents usually made us kids watch TV. 

In honor of Michael Jackson’s 65th birthday, here are some facts you need to know about him

Ron DeSantis Makes It OK To Be Anti-Black In Florida

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White people frequently tell us that we “make everything about race.”

They use it like some sort of “gotcha!” to derail any type of discussion on race, racism, or racial justice.

Never mind that the entire construct of race was conceptualized by white people in order to make themselves “superior” over everyone else.

They don’t want to talk about that part. Instead, they would rather use a twisted form of DARVO to make a villain out of anyone who brings up racism, white supremacy, white privilege, or whiteness. In their eyes, the problem isn’t racism, white supremacy, white privilege or whiteness; the problem is that we “darkies” won’t stop talking about it.

Their skin is so thin, and their egos are so fragile, that they have to legislate not talking truthfully about race and racism in order to create an environment where whiteness, white supremacy, and racism can exist and thrive unchecked.

Ron DeSantis Makes It OK To Be Anti-Black In Florida

On ‘And Just Like That,’ Black and brown characters are little more than props

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As a young writer, I imagined myself as a Black Carrie Bradshaw, and I aspired to live comfortably while only working as a writer and not having to have a day job. I mean, who wouldn’t want a cute apartment in a bustling city, a fabulous wardrobe, an impeccable shoe collection, and a group of amazing and equally successful women who poured into me, listened to me whine about men, and could relate? 

The only problem? I didn’t really see a reflection of myself in those characters. Yes, I shared traits with both Carrie, played by Sarah Jessica Parker (writer! clothes lover! shoe collector!), and Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall), who was sexually liberated and unapologetically herself at all times. But I couldn’t see myself in those women. It wasn’t just that I’m not a prim and proper prude like Charlotte York (Kristin Davis) or an awkward neurotic who is all over the place like Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon). I’m not white.

On ‘And Just Like That,’ Black and brown characters are little more than props

Whiteness does not care about the comfort or education of Black students

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Last Friday, the school singled out all of its Black fourth and fifth graders and pulled them into an assembly where they were held responsible for the school’s low test scores. 

A PowerPoint presentation, titled “AA Presentation,” was shown to the students. The presentation itself contained typos and errors, and the irony of that is making me constipated because how are you going to create an entire assembly to shame Black children for the failures of the system (of whiteness) when you don’t even have it together enough to proofread said presentation? Y’all are just sloppy all around.

It identified Black students as “the problem” in low test scores because they “have underperform [sic] on standardized assessment for the past three years.” It notes that the school only has 32% of its students who are where they need to be when it should have 41%.

It then tasks the students with committing to getting themselves up to where they need to be on the standardized tests; passing all their curriculum-based assessments with a 75% or higher, and committing to “maintaining high iReady scores within their individual track.”

There were no bullet points in the presentation that detailed how the school was going to help the Black children keep these commitments. 

Whiteness does not care about the comfort or education of Black students

Elon Musk wants to remove the ‘block’ button on X, formerly known as Twitter. That would be a huge mistake.

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In May, after I wrote extensively about the Citi Bike Karen incident, I was doxxed repeatedly, and when I reported a few of the accounts on Twitter, I got a response back saying they had found no violation in the person’s tweets.

I’m not the only one. 

Black women are targeted for abuse daily on the app as are members of the trans community and the LGBTQIA+ community at large. Racists, Trumpers and everyone in between look for every opportunity to try and make someone else’s day miserable. I spend a lot of time blocking accounts in order to protect my peace.

Marginalized communities already face an onslaught of abuse on Twitter, and with this latest decision, Musk is proving that he doesn’t care. 

It is highly likely that his desire to remove the ability to block people is directly tied to people blocking him (it obviously hurts his little feelings that no one cares to read what he has to say) and a large-scale campaign to block Twitter Blue users who pay to have their tweets prioritized over everyone else. 

And since the introduction of tweet monetization for that same user base, the rage farming has increased as blue checkmark accounts try to incite people into engaging with their content so that they may suck at the teat that is Twitter’s ad revenue — or so Elon has promised them. 

Elon Musk wants to remove the ‘block’ button on X, formerly known as Twitter. That would be a huge mistake.

Good morning

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My morning started off really right today even though I had to make some slight adjustments to my morning routine. I am back on intermittent fasting, so I made really good food to break my fast, and now I’m sitting at my laptop with a cup of coffee, and I’m ready to take on the day before 9am.

How you doin’?