If you are an adult, there is no such thing as ‘dressing your age’


“On Wednesdays, we wear pink” is a line from one of my favorite movies of all time, “Mean Girls.” (The original film, not the musical, although they may say the line in the musical as well, I haven’t seen it yet. I’mma fix that real soon, though.)

Because I love “Mean Girls” so much, I buy every graphic T-shirt I can find that has catchphrases from the film. In addition to the aforementioned line, I have ones that say “I’m a mouse. Duh,” “She doesn’t even go here,” and “That’s so fetch!” I have the feeling I’m forgetting some, but you get my point. I have a lot of “Mean Girls” graphic T-shirts. 

My collection of “Mean Girls” shirts is as large as my collection of “Daria” T-shirts. 

Me and graphic T-shirts go together. I’ve lost count of how many I have, but I’d say at least 100. I have so many that it would take me months to wear every single one I have. 

If I don’t have anything else going on, my standard casual outfit is a graphic T-shirt whatever bottoms I put on that day (shorts, jeans, sweats, or leggings — which are in fact pants), and a pair of Chucks. My Chucks collection is large and full of different colors. 

I’m telling you all of this because as a proud member of Generation X when I became an adult and could spend my own money on my own clothes without anyone telling me what I could and could not wear, I decided to wear whatever the heck I wanted, and my clothing choices became an expression of my daily mood.

If you are an adult, there is no such thing as ‘dressing your age’

This Jamie Foxx/AAVE discourse is interesting to say the least.

There are a great many white people who use AAVE as if it’s a type of slang for them. They co-opt our words and phrases and use them on social media without understanding where they come from or how they originated.

As many people have pointed out, AAVE is not “slang.” It’s a language unto itself that we speak in the comfort of our community.

Jamie was speaking in that context, and his post was misunderstood by those who don’t have that cultural history or understanding. And I get why they would misunderstand it with those two things missing for them.

However, when it’s explained to you that you misunderstood something, to continue to double down and act like he was trying to do harm when he was simply saying something everyone with a praying Black grandmother with a church fan has said millions of times before is weird.

And this is why I get annoyed when I see women like that criscrissycris broad on TikTok performing in a Blaccent as she speaks in AAVE in all her videos. Same with TikTokMomma7 or whatever. Y’all want our rhythm, but not our fucking blues, and the shit is tiring.

My Blackness is not a costume I can take on and off depending on the situation. I am always fucking Black. The world sees me as Black. I can’t start speaking the white man’s English and have people see me differently.

So when situations like this come up where someone misunderstands a Black colloquialism and takes it to the extreme, it’s frustrating as a Black person to watch. I want to scream.

You can do all the fucking TikTok dance challenges you want. You can rap along to Bun B and Drake and whoever the fuck else in your videos to try and seem down. You can have all the Black men in your comments telling you that you are “invited to the picnic.”

But the minute that coopted Blackness no longer serves you, you will switch back to regular whiteness like nothing happened. Look at Miley Cyrus.

Look at the rebrand happening with the Kardashians. They want to go back to being white now that coopted Blackness is no longer serving them in the way that it used to.

To be clear: There is no American culture without Black people. Black culture is American culture. No, I will not debate this with you or explain it. Black people know what I mean.

Another saying my Black granny repeated often is “We can’t have shit to ourselves,” and it’s true. But y’all don’t want to have THAT discussion.

It’s so tiring being Black in America and having to deal with the cognitive dissonance that is people wanting to steal everything from our culture at the same time they want to disenfranchise us from every other aspect of life.

Because even when we try to point the bullshit out, y’all play in our faces and gaslight us and telling us we’re “being victims” or “making everything about race” when the fact of the matter is the invention of whiteness as a social construct was not our doing.

The invention of race as a social construct and classification system was not our doing.

And now that the institution of whiteness is being openly called out more and more, y’all are afraid like roaches when the lights come on. You want to stop it, so you have shit like what’s happening in Florida.

And this is why I will never shut up about it. Black people should not have to continue to be oppressed in this country in order for everyone else to feel comfortable. Fuck you, and fuck that.

And by “everyone else,” I mean all the non-Black POC who help to uphold whiteness and white supremacy and anti-Blackness.

Oh. One more thought: this (the Jamie Foxx situation) also plays heavily into the way a lot of white people think it’s their job to police the words and actions of Black people at all times.

Because it has been repeatedly explained by Black people over the last two days what he meant when he said that, yet white people are talking over us (as fucking usual) and refusing to listen. They don’t want to understand. They just want to be right.

Anyway, argue amongst your fucking selves. I’m finna go smoke a joint and this shit is muted already. Kiss my fat, flat Black ass.