theGrio Things I've Written Elsewhere

This summer’s anthem is…

Listen. If Kandi doesn’t do anything else, she is going to give you a catchy bop to sing along to. After all, this is the woman who penned “No Scrubs,” “Bills, Bills, Bills,” “Tardy for the Party,” “The Ring Didn’t Mean a Thing,” and who has writing credits on “Bug a Boo,” “There You Go,” and “U and Dat.” She knows her way around a hit.

‘Legs and hips and bawdeeeeee’: Kandi Burruss has given us our summer earworm
Stuff You Should Be Reading

Michael Harriot always nails it

If what Whitlock believes is true, then my eyes have been opened. If fact-based criticism is offensive enough to make cops abrogate their professional duties and the very foundation of why they exist, then I finally understand why America is like this. According to Whitlock, it is crazy to expect police officers to live up to their pledge to protect and serve and be held responsible by the people who pay them. Next, you’ll be telling me that Black people want this country to live up to its pledge that “all men are created equal” and treat them equally, too!

What Jason Whitlock can teach us about white people, cops and America 
Mic Things I've Written Elsewhere

When I tell you O-T Fagbenle is a delight, please believe me

“I’m a man whose greatest wealth and honor is my family. That’s number one. I’m a person who cares a lot about young people,” he says. “…I guess I’m an artist. I’m a person who is driven to contribute stories to people, and I think in some ways the job of the artist is to reflect the most intimate parts of themselves to others.”

O-T FAGBENLE IS SHOWING US A DIFFERENT SIDE OF BARACK OBAMA ON THE FIRST LADY
theGrio Things I've Written Elsewhere

America doesn’t care about Black women

“About a third of our population is African American; African Americans have a higher incidence of maternal mortality. So, if you correct our population for race, we’re not as much of an outlier as it’d otherwise appear. Now, I say that not to minimize the issue but to focus the issue as to where it would be. For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality.”

Sen. Bill Cassidy proves America doesn’t care about Black women
General Monique Stuff

the buffalo shooting

Today I called my mom to ask her a question, and she told me that she was really sad today. I asked her why, and she said the news about the Buffalo shooting had really upset her.

“All those women were older Black women just going for groceries in a store they fought to have in their neighborhood,” she said, her voice cracking.

I tried to soothe her, but what can you say, really?I know it hit home for her because she’s in her 70s. I know the thought occurred to her that it could easily be her in a store one day.

The people in that store were targeted because they were Black. That is horrifying to think about, but it is definitely our American reality.

I’m scared for all of us. You never know where one of these people may show up and decide to pull something like this.

I listened to my mother sob today, the fear in her voice, and there was really nothing I could say to make her feel better.

I told her not to spend her entire day feeling sad, but how do you prevent that when we live in this country

A country where they won’t legislate guns, but they will legislate the private decisions women make with their bodies.I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her it was going to be all right. But we all know that’s a lie. It’s going to get worse.Love your people and hold on to them tight.

Grammar Tips

Apart vs a part

Remember kids, you can’t be “a part” of something if you are “apart” from it.

These mean two different things, and they aren’t interchangeable.

“A part” is inclusive. “Apart” is exclusive.

I hope this helps.

theGrio Things I've Written Elsewhere

Why are Black women always expected to be the bigger person?

Black women are always expected to turn the other cheek when it comes to the people who mistreat them. We are always expected to be the bigger person, to rise above it all and act like we are indifferent to the hateful speech, abusive behavior and gaslighting that goes on in situations like this. 

Black women don’t owe Kevin Samuels anything

For theGrio, I wrote about how Black women are being asked to show grace to Kevin Samuels in light of his death, despite the fact that he had none for Black women when he was living.

A Dog Named Lady

My dog is too funny

I had a Petco bag with Lady’s old leash and harness in it (I bought her new ones) as well as some new bully sticks for later. I left it on the side of my ottoman when we came in.

Tell me why this little heffa sniffed out the bully sticks, went in the bag and got one, took it to her bed, peeled off the label herself (!!!!!) and is currently enjoying it as I type this?

She is very pleased with herself, and I’m just like “She’s too smart for her own good.”

General Monique Stuff

I’m quoted in a book?

Today, a friend informed me that I am quoted in a book they are currently reading called What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat, by Aubrey Gordon. She cited my article I wrote Quantasia Sharpton, the woman who sued Usher for giving her herpes. When her lawsuit was originally reported, people laughed it off and said there was no way Usher would sleep with a fat woman like that. I disagreed.

Go me!

Media Criticism

WTF, Netflix?

“In a Business Insider article published in February, employees said that Netflix wooed them with the promise of more stability and higher wages than journalism has offered in recent years: If Netflix says “We’re going to pay you a more-than-livable wage and let you continue to write about the things that you write,’ honestly, why wouldn’t you want to do that?,” one writer told Insider.”

Netflix Lays Off the Journalists It Just Hired
Continue reading “WTF, Netflix?” →
theGrio Things I've Written Elsewhere

30 years later, policing in Los Angeles is still a problem

“Both the Los Angeles Police Department and the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department have horrible reputations and track records when it comes to their interactions with the residents of the city. The sheriff’s department, in particular, is known to be filled with internal gangs that target the city’s residents of color. The county sheriff himself is currently embroiled in a scandal in which it is alleged he attempted to cover up a video of a deputy kneeling on a handcuffed inmate’s neck—a case reminiscent of the murder of George Floyd.”

30 years after the 1992 Los Angeles Rebellion, policing in the city hasn’t changed much
andscape Things I've Written Elsewhere

Today is the 30th anniversary of the Los Angeles Uprising

“In April 29, 1992, the city of Los Angeles erupted into a state of civil unrest following the not guilty verdict in the trial of the Los Angeles police officers charged with the brutal beating of Rodney King. For six days, people angry about the trial’s outcome took to the streets, businesses were looted and the city burned. While the verdict was the final straw for many, the fuse for their anger was lit years before.”

30 years after the 1992 Los Angeles uprising, not enough has changed

theGrio Things I've Written Elsewhere

Let’s celebrate 4/20 while remembering those held hostage by antiquated ‘drug’ laws

So I’m going to leave you with this: As you spark up today, put one in the air for brothers and sisters still locked down because they sold a dime bag. Blow one for the ones who just had a joint on them and got the most extreme forms of “justice” just because some judge could. Light one for all the soldiers in the struggle who are still serving time for the same thing a lot of white people are making millions off of now and getting away with it because they have a storefront. 

As we celebrate 4/20, let’s remember that the ‘weed man’ has been gentrified by white people
theGrio Things I've Written Elsewhere

It’s all about the way we see ourselves

“First of all, I realize that my body is mine and mine alone. This means that no amount of outside messaging should be able to impact how I feel about myself. Coming to that realization was a process, and we all come to it at different times, but once you get there, it is the most liberating feeling in the world.”

I no longer wish to be ‘at war’ with my body
Continue reading “It’s all about the way we see ourselves” →
Dame Magazine Things I've Written Elsewhere

White people lose their shit every Black History Month. Why?

The problem is that whiteness is centered so much in our world, people like this don’t know how to respond when it isn’t. White people don’t have to worry about their “culture” being left out of anything, because it’s always present, but they still complain when they can’t see themselves in something. They will even go so far as to insert themselves where they don’t belong.

Why Can’t We Just Enjoy Black History Month?