Y’all started it

Link

Before I get started, let me be clear about one thing: All white people have white privilege. 

Whenever white privilege comes up as a topic, there are always white people who want to claim they don’t have it because they are poor or uneducated or whatever excuse they come up with to try and distance themselves from the very thing that gives them a leg up no matter their class or circumstance. 

White privilege is an inherent gift that all white people benefit from just by virtue of being white. You can put a poor white person in the same space as a poor Black person, and the white person is going to be viewed as somehow better no matter their station. 

White privilege is about opportunity. 

Being the smartest, most educated and experienced person applying doesn’t guarantee a Black person will get a job, but a mediocre white person can get a job over them because of white privilege. 

White people made everything about race

My latest for theGrio discusses the social construct of race, whiteness, white privilege and white supremacy.

White fragility *is* white violence

Link

“I consider my writing to be a form of activism. It is my way of using my voice, my natural writing ability, and my words to speak up for myself and other Black people. 

It is a form of protest, in my opinion, and baby, protest is not supposed to make you feel comfortable. 

If you, as a white person, feel personally attacked by the things I say and write, that requires a level of self analysis that I can’t help you with. It’s not up to me to smooth it over for you and make it easier for you to digest.”

The frustrations of a Black woman who writes about race

Whew, chile

Standard

I had developed this habit of getting up and out of bed at 5am and spending an hour journaling. I set my alarm each night, and I made myself put my feet on the floor and stand up when it went off.

I stopped doing that and instead started sleeping until my body woke up on its own.

The result is I end up staying in bed longer and longer each morning before I finally get up and start my day.

I think it’s time to bring that former habit back.

Continue reading

Stop expecting Black women to perform “grace”

Standard

The Oscars played in Angela Bassett’s face again, and in the wake of that disappointing moment, all white media can talk about is how she didn’t smile and clap for Jamie Lee Curtis, a Hollywood nepo baby, who won for what essentially amounted to a cameo in this year’s biggest winning movie.

Continue reading

Ben Stein, Stella Parton and Scott Adams walk into a bar

Standard

Ben Stein is racist.

Stella Parton is racist.

Scott Adams is racist.

Racism is a part of daily life in America, whether it is as overt as people marching around in Klan uniforms or as subtle as someone making passive-aggressive negative comments about Black people in our presence. 

As much as we want to give most white people the benefit of the doubt, there usually comes a time when even our faves (or their siblings) disappoint us by saying something so outlandishly racist it’s hard to ignore. 

I had a recent experience on Facebook with a former co-worker who I always thought was just a nice older white lady. She showed up in the comments of one of my posts and completely showed her ass, and she doubled, tripled and quadrupled down on her ignorance even when she was called out by her fellow white people. 

Here is a list of white people I was extremely disappointed to find out were (undercover) racists
Continue reading

recognizing when you are not the problem

Link

I don’t think this person truly knows why they do what they do nor why they chose to act this way to me. I certainly can’t explain it, nor do I feel the need to. 

What I do know is that they are not a good person, no matter how much they try to pretend they are. There is no integrity to be had when your intentions come from a selfish and self-serving place. 

I was open. I was honest. I did more than post platitudes on social media and act as if they were a reflection of my lived experience. 

I am my lived experience each and every day, and I always own it — the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

it’s not you; it’s them

Stop giving Chris Brown a platform, Black women!

Link

Since the 2009 incident in which he assaulted his then-girlfriend Rihanna — an incident to which he pleaded guilty and received a felony conviction — Brown has remained an unapologetic jerk on all fronts. Last month, People magazine published a timeline of all his legal troubles since the 2009 conviction, and the list is long and full of examples of Brown being unable to control his temper and keep his hands to himself. 

The 33-year-old is obviously very troubled and would likely benefit from long-term professional help, but what is not helping is all the people enabling him — most especially Black women. 

Chris Brown is problematic, and it’s time for Black women to stop uplifting him

When Monday is a holiday

Standard

It’s supposed to be the beginning of a new work week, but today is President’s Day, and I don’t really feel much like working. I’m going to get stuff done anyway because that’s what I do (and if I don’t write, I don’t eat), but this day felt off from the moment I woke up. Whatever. Let’s get it.

GTA

I’ve said before that playing GTA is like playing violent Barbies for me. I have an unlimited supply of outfits to change her into.

Today, I found one of my favorite old school cars for her, and I changed her hair color so the style and color match me in real life.

My GTA character is vain just like me.

Today was uneventful. The end.

I’m back on my bullshit

Link

I had a fabulous Valentine’s Day.

There are days when I know I look fucking good, and this was one of those days. Thighs out, ass-length braids, fishnet stockings, over-the-knee boots—baby, I was serving.

I saw a show with the burlesque troupe Sweet Spot Nation. They put on an adult variety show, and I was thoroughly entertained. There was a singing guitarist, erotic spoken word, some sensuous sex play (with clothing on, of course)0, and girls shaking titties and ass. There were also two comedy performances, and those were funny too.

If you ever get the opportunity to see them live, I highly recommend it.

Continue reading

Professionalism standards and dress code policies

Standard

How is Pearson wearing a dashiki disrespecting anyone? Is it not disrespectful for Hawk to be offended by it? Would he have the same attitude if an East Indian woman wore a sari or a Japanese woman wore a kimono? Would he be offended by a Sikh wearing his turban? 

Just where do we draw the line? Why is it acceptable for people of other cultures to acknowledge said cultures by wearing their traditional dress, but when a Black person does it, it’s suddenly “unprofessional”?

How professionalism standards and dress code policies support white supremacy

For theGrio, I wrote about how professionalism standards and dress codes help to uphold white supremacy. Both are almost always targeted specifically at Black people.

Happy birthday to Megan Thee Stallion

Standard

Today is Megan Thee Stallion’s 28th birthday.

She should be out celebrating and driving the boat, doing hoodrat shit with her ratchet friends, but instead she has been on a self-imposed hiatus, disappearing from the public eye immediately after Tory Lanez was convicted in December for the July 2020 incident in which he shot her in her feet.

Megan deserves so much better.

For theGrio, I wrote an open letter to her.

I hope wherever she is right now, she is surrounded by love, finding peace, feeling protected, and healing herself mentally and emotionally so she can come back stronger than ever. We miss her.

Read “To Megan Thee Stallion on her 28th birthday“

Return of the Mack

Standard

Good morning!

As I have shared in my writing as of late, I have not been in a good place mentally over the last few weeks.

Depression is a monster, and when it takes over, even the smallest of tasks can feel insurmountable. The inability to focus long enough to get anything done is a productivity killer, and for someone like me who works primarily as a freelancer or contract worker, that means it’s an income killer as well.

Continue reading

I am an extroverted introvert

Link

I spent years thinking that I was an extrovert. It’s hilarious to think of that now, when I haven’t made plans in over two weeks, and I get most excited by ticking another book off my To-Read List. But I used to think I was an extrovert, so I acted like one.

I suppose I can’t really blame people for mistaking me for an extrovert, as I fell into the same trap. But then I discovered my introverted roots, or rather I finally admitted it to myself. I am a total introvert at heart, someone who will always prefer reading in bed to going out, and who has to plan days between social events to regain my energy.

But I’m an introvert who can enjoy a house party. I’m an introvert with many extroverted friends. I’m an introvert in disguise, also known as an extroverted introvert.

8 Signs That You’re An Extroverted Introvert

I felt this article in my soul, because it describes me perfectly. My therapist helped me to realize this is me a few years ago, and now I rest in this identity. It’s comfy here. Have a seat.

Erykah Badu and her daughter Puma broke the internet

Standard

For theGrio, I wrote about y’all being entirely too goofy over the pictures of Erykah Badu and her oldest daughter, Puma.

I noticed two very specific types of reactions to these photos. First there were the “Oh my god! I would never” people, and to them I say, “Well, don’t then, bitch.”

Then I noticed all the grown men making nasty comments and posting rapey memes with captions expressing what they would like to do to an 18-year-old. Y’all need to be on a registry somewhere.

It’s OK for us to celebrate Erykah and Puma being empowered to show off their bodies. I want all Black women to feel this free.

What’s NOT OK is making sexual comments about an 18-year-old just because “she’s legal.” Go sit your overgrown ass in a corner somewhere and figure out why you are sexualizing someone that young.

Because to be clear, neither Erykah nor her daughter sexualized themselves in those pictures. Y’ALL sexualized them with your responses to them.

Anyway, read “Age of consent doesn’t give you permission to be a creep.”

Was this pussy pap ready? Yes. It was.*

Standard

There’s a new issue of my newsletter, off the record, out.

Is this my villain origin story?

This is a follow up to last week’s piece, “I’m ready to be a ‘Soft Black Girl.'” I talk about the process I’m going through right now, dealing with both my depressive episode and the thing that triggered it.

This is where I tell you that if you haven’t already subscribed to my newsletter, you should ASAP.

But there’s more…

Continue reading

Jerrod Carmichael was the perfect host for the Golden Globes

Standard

Let’s keep it real: The Hollywood Foreign Press Association is still under the same microscope it has been under for the last two years as it continues to fight its way out of the negative press it received for not having any Black members.

NBC decided not to air the Golden Globe Awards ceremony in 2022 because of the fact HFPA was embroiled in so much scandal. It was a mess.

As most organizations do when they get called for blatant racism or a lack of diversity, HFPA has been bending over backwards to try and make amends, including adding six new Black members to their ranks and ensuring that more Black actors and projects were nominated for this year’s awards.

They didn’t stop there, though.

Continue reading